Friday, September 20, 2013

Update on Mi Casa and My State of Mind

Phone call after phone call, email after email; that has been my life these past few weeks, and no, I don't work in an office. After two television news interviews, I have had a number of people asking about our house, and wondering if anything has ever happened with it. In short, no, not really. I've talked with a number of organizations, the insurance company, and the lawyers in the JAG office just to name a few. I have had some gracious individuals give monetary gifts and a few others have offered their assistance with the heating and plumbing repairs, but with the foundation still the major money issue, we have together decided it is wisest to not do anything until we have a solution for the foundation. Let's be realistic, it would be better if the house was just torn down- at least that's how I feel right now. I would feel terrible if they did all that work on the plumbing, heating, and drywall, and then, by some miracle, we were able to work something out with the bank, and they demolished it due to the foundation. I'm not going to lie, there have been a few mornings when I have woke up this week feeling knots in my stomach because of our house. It has taken a pure conscious effort to control my thoughts and be reminded that God is in control; He is faithful, and he will see me through this. Worse than fighting those thoughts, are my fears concerning Jeremiah. He has been really "busy" and in war, "busy" is never a good thing. I see him every few days on Skype which is great, but it plays with my mind when we go longer than usual without hearing from him. Multiple times a day, I wonder if today will be the day- Was that the last time I will see him? Will a car pull up in front of our house? Will some men in uniform walk up our steps and come knock on our door? Will today be the day my world is totally turned upside down? As quickly as those thoughts try to creep in, with a lump in my throat, I push them back and think of Philippians 4:8. I love the way The Message version puts it. Phillipians 4:8-9 (MSG) 8-9 Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies. It isn't always easy taming our wild minds, but I think God knew we needed specific instructions to not dwell on the negative. I don't know what tomorrow holds for my house or for my family, but for today, this is the day that He has made and I will choose to rejoice and be glad in it. Do you ever struggle with your thoughts? Do you have a good practice for overcoming the negative? I would love to hear them!